Friday, December 24, 2010

HAPPY SOLSTICE, Merry Christmas, and YOU rock!!!

My Turtle love,
 we are back in our Tipi!! We have spent the last four days in Rapid, three of them by choice, the last one was due to weather! :)  My gawd, what fun we had! Holiday shopping, hanging out, celebrating solstice, enjoying being together!!!
First, (literally) we went to the solstice spiral among some of our dearest friends!!! ohh how beautiful, and fun, and just RIGHT on. Then we went back to Auntie Karen (B) house and you had a blast running about with the children as Ina and At'e had a blast talking with our friends whom we love dearly.  Eventually, we headed back to the hotel, where we all just crashed!
  Then the next few days, we just did whatever we felt like doing. We were going to come home yesterday, but there was an ice storm overnight and we couldn't get home..{now if we'd already moved to MT...we'd have had no problem :) } So, we just all hung out again. :) We let you have some of your presents because you were getting quite tired of being cooped up. I cant' blame you!
  Today, we left rapid....headed for home...Ina had to let Ate' drive since i was totally freaked by the roads, you my little darling, were lila kuja... we were very worried.  Finally when we hit Wall, you couldnt take it anymore, and were really miserable.  I unstrapped you, took you to the back, laid you down and massaged you and then sang you songs.  Before we knew it, we were at Kadoka.. you were not ready to get back in your seat... and you were better, but not well yet.  I had to go in the station and Olega.... when I came back, you were better! You cesli'd and were completely better! I went back to check on you, you looked up at me, and said, you face bright: "Ina, you healed me!"  It was so sweet, I about cried! (good tears) From that moment on, you were 100%  fine! I was relieved! I was also so grateful that I was able to heal you.  That is what Ina's are for. I'm so honored that we have the connection that enables me to heal you.  I have a big wonderful job being your Ina, but it's in moments like that, when I know I'm doing it right.
I've always known I was a healer..but in that moment, i was able to heal the most important being of all.
I love you dearly. I'm so grateful for you. There is more to say, but I have run out of time. oxoxoxoxo

Friday, December 17, 2010

what's on my mind....

one of the great things that happened when we were in Rapid was I got to see my dear friends KB and JB...and in the smallish amount of time, they managed to unknowingly soothe the chapped parts of my soul that have been exposed to quagmire that is this town.
When thinking of this town the saying: "Lay down with dogs, get up with fleas" OR " Hang out with idiots, catch their disease" I feel is applicable.
Because I see myself growing hard, becoming a BAD parent since our arrival in this 1880's town.  and I HATE it. I hate doing what I hate, which is squaring myself off to fit SOME ONE ELSE'S idea of who/how/what I/we/she should be.  It enrages me.
But we began doing just that.

Except, we are NOT the crazies.

Being w/ and spending time w/ J and KB, seriously, it just calmed me. hearing their successes and their Uhoh's was helpful and healing for me.  Both of them, by their very nature are so soothing that, it just absolutely calmed my ass right down, AND put my head on straight.  We had such great conversations, and I got such good advice that wasn't all "here is some advice" type thing.  (They'd make great Lakota's)

I'm not making any sense on here, because the feelings that they left me with and the lessons I learned from them, I can't even put properly into words.  But i know this.
They were dear to us before, but now, they have just absolutely been snuggled deep into our hearts and the material of our lives henceforth.

K, J and children....we love you all and You all ROCK!!!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Turtle time

On Tuesday, Turtle said she wanted to go to dinosaur park, we were actually in the car heading to  mission to go to a lakota studies gathering that I'd caught wind of; but she said: " I dont want to go to Sinte, I want to go to Dinosaur Park. So, I turned the car around, checked in w/ mihigna, went home, packed an overnight bag, and we headed out.
 I figured we could get in and out before the craziness that is LNI, but we ended up staying two more days. :)  Just her and me. I love being able to do whatever, becuase she wants to do it.  There are enough NO's in the world,why not give all the yes' I can?  
  It was so fun, so healing for us, and just such a great time!!!
 We shopped, hung out, went to the bookstore, all kinds of great stuff.  She is so much fun to be with, everywhere we went I saw people watching us, but that is all I saw, I don't care why, or what they thought, or anything, all that mattered was Turtle and her Ina were together, and she is my favorite person to hang out w/.  Now, taht being said, we did miss Mihigna.  But we still had lots of fun.

there is more to this, but right now we are home, and I want to go cuddle w/ my fam.
for now MBB