Friday, February 12, 2010
Unci sent me this photo, along with others, of our weekend at the wacipi. This one is the one that has the strongest impact.
This is when the Akicita's were shooting their guns and you got scared; it was buya in that arena! So, you grabbed my neck, snuggled me close and told me to cover your ears. I felt so protective when you were scared. I wanted to block out all the noise, so you would no longer be scared. The Ina bear in me wanted to tell them to stop shooting so much, and I wanted to meld myself around you.
This is such a picture of what our jobs as Ina's are. To protect fiercely, unquestioning, just do it, and hold on as long and as tight as need be.
I'm feeling that especially right now as our lives resemble a chaotic raceway, and nothing ever seems the same, and nothing seems to be staying in its place these days. It's wrecking havoc on me, and I can see it starting to get at you a bit. I need to be the strong Winyan Lakota, and be your embracer, your support, your kleenex, your balm, your soft place to land. I have not done such a good job these last few weeks, and for that i'm sorry. Many times, I've broken down in tears right along with you. You are evolved enough to tell me to stop crying. thank you for that.
Back to the wacipi...It wasn't long after grand entry that you went on to dance around the arena, and do a fabulous job. You let go of my hand and danced on your own, but we were surrounded by shawl dancers and jingle dress, so you got jostled away from me. You looked around a bit startled, but you called for me, and we re connected. That is such a metaphor for your take on life. You are more than willing to meet it head on, but you need to check back in every now and again, to make sure I'm still there, in case you need something.
I am. I will be. Always.
I see this picture as the state I'm in as well. I look tired, aged, pale. I am out of balance, and desperately need to get it back. So, this will be good for me to look upon to remind me of where I need to be. For you, for myself, for our future.
Tewahila! I'm so glad you are my turtle. Thanks for blessing me/us.
You are the bomb!!