Wednesday, September 9, 2009

So much to say, not enough time

Wow, what a whirlwind.
I was buzzing around on..I can't even remember what day, because we were headed out of town. During that, I was stopped and offered a job... and found out it would be a full time teaching position, which was exciting and flattering. Not at all possible though, but I was honored all the same. I was told that I could work part time if i didn't want the full time position. But, I have to find out the hours, I am really hesitant about leaving turtle. I'm not sure Unchici would be available for that time; and I am not really ready for her to go to "day care" no matter how culturally extensive it is. There are things I'm really liking about the On campus day care, but I'm not thrilled that we would be going into cold and flu season and she would be exposed to who knows what. No, winter is our time to hunker down as a family, and stay away from most public places.
The bottom line is, I'm' not ready for her to be out in the world just yet. There will be more than enough time for that.
It's a lot to digest, but i follow my gut, and my gut is knotty, so I'm inclined to say no; even though it would be a big financial help and a really great career opportunity for me.

But this is the eve of turtle's 2nd birthday. I love that I have had two solid years with only her and i, and all my time is devoted to her. I'm not ready for that to change. She is independent enough,secure enough, that when school time comes, she will be out the door, blowing me kisses over her shoulder. Then i will go on to my next steps. But for now, I will enjoy this time, soak it up, revel in it, roll around on the floor with her, see everything through her eyes, just be.

There is so much more to say. I have such news from the weekend, such tales to tell, but now, I'm tired, and turtle is starting to stir, so I'm going to go crawl in next to her; enjoy her one more night of being a one year old.. for tomorrow she will have blessed our lives for two years. I can't believe it. On on hand, it feels like she has always been here, and on the other, I still remember the day she was born. The whole process of her coming here, the wonderous day of her birth; every minute since then. The good, the scary and the tiring.
It has always been worth it.

Like I told my dear friend KA this weekend... the hard times, the intense times, all pay off when we look at our children who reflect back to us the reward of being who they are fully, being secure, happy, well adjusted little beings who know they are sacred.

We've hit the two year mark, and I'm proud of us. (Mihgina and I) We are doing it the way we said we would, and we are so blessed to have this beautiful, sacred being, who makes the journey soo rewarding and soo fulfilling.

1 comment:

Emily said...

It is so easy to be tempted by a job offer during these tough economic times, isn't it! I also turned a job down recently. Good for you to stay firm in your decision to be with your daughter.