Wednesday, February 18, 2009


There are times in the fragility of life smacks you right in the face. It's been one of those times these past few days.

As I wrote before, we went away for the weekend, and we all got sick. Cunksi and I continue to be sick. Cunksi is never sick. It had us very worried. I don't want to go into the long details of it all. She is slowly getting better. We are fairly sure we know what made her sick. It's not viral, it's respiratory. We stayed in a hotel with a very bad heating system on Friday night, and we're pretty sure that is what caused it. I don't care about me being sick, i can work through it, but to hear my poor daughter gasp for breath and wheeze and cry; it terrifying, and maddening. We have done such a great job keeping her safe and healhty up to this point, I feel like an ass for putting her in a situation that I should have thought through. It's all mute point now, I know. I'm just vocalizing my anger and frustration. No, my helplessness. That is the worst feeling a parent can have.

Tonight, I learned that a dear friend of mine went to the hospital with kidney stones which caused her to have a heart attack. She is alive, and recovering. Thankfully.
I'm so grateful. I would have been devastated if something had happened to her. She will be coming home tomorrow.
Tonight, as we watched over cunksi, mihigna and I spoke of the scary direction health care is going in. IS IN. This is a discussion we have a lot. But now that we have a precious little turtle to look out for, it's most important. Please make health care better Obama. My friend was in peril because she went to IHS, and they suck.
I've nearly been killed by IHS at least 3 times now, I KID YOU NOT!!!!
Thank god, we have health insurance, so turtle does NOT go to IHS for health care, but in most of my experience, insurance paid health care is not much better. (Save my ob and my pediatrician at yankton, they ROCKED!!) So, maybe it is rural health care that sucks. ohh, such a long topic i could discuss.

But i should let myself calm down first so I can do it rationally.

We're so blessed that cunksi has not been ill, we're so blessed that she was born healthy, has remained so. I don't forget that, and I thank tunkasila for that everyday.

But as I hung up the phone from talking to my friend, i reflected on what she said, "I knew something was wrong, I knew I wasn't taking good care of myself, wasn't eating right. But, I was too busy trying to care for the world."
That is the dilemma so many of us Winyan get into, and it needs to stop. WE need to stop it, we need to make that change, we need to realize, if we don't take care of ourselves, we wont be around to take care of anyone else.
I.Q, I'm so glad you are safe, I'm so glad you are coming home. Please remember you are loved by so many, and we need you to take care of you so you can stick around a lot longer.

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