So, I got my moon back.
16 months without it, and i really must say, I haven't missed it one iota. As sacred as it is, there has been no love lost, or tears shed, or long nights pining away for it. No poems written, or songs inscribed.
I about shed some tears today, when I saw it's return. Then another thought,
well, I'm not pregnant. haa! haa!!!
Yes folks, my eggs are back into circulation,
According to my old OB nurse, that is a yey! She did tell me that if we were still planning on not having any more children to be on guard and use birth control.. sista you DON'T have to tell me twice, I've SEEN what happens when you "think" having unprotected sex while breastfeeding is "safe". (Not to ME personally, just many of those around me, who now have Many little ones around them.) She was VERY proud of me for STILL breastfeeding,and gave me many kudos. I always find it amusing that breastfeeding this "long" is considered heroic status; for me there was no other option. It simply how it was going to be.
See, I was worried when I saw that I was ovulating again, that it would mean i was going to either stop producing milk soon, or that she was going to wean herself. NOW THAT would make me CRY!!!! But the nurse said no, I will still be ok in that department. WHEW!!!
So, that is the big news of the day.. as my day draws to a close and my cramps start to creep in a bit. Oh how I haven't missed those. They will pass, as will my ambivalence to the return of my moon, I will once again be grateful and treat it as the sacred thing it is. Everyone is a bit slow to come back from a vacation after all.
And as far as having more children, I'm ambivolant on that as well. We first said no, due to my family history and age... (hey, there is history there, so before you start snorting in protest.. ask for the story.)But I did LOVE being pregnant, and I was a beautiful, sexy, pregnant woman, I'd love to be pregnant again. It was easy and fun, and I'd love to give birth again, it was also easy and fun.. and all natural.
But I think about turtle right now, and she is so perfect in all her her-ness. I love being able to spend as much of my devoted time just on her. I love our "us-ness". So for now, it will have to wait. There are a lot of things to consider beyond just being a Sexy, pregnant woman who likes giving birth; and thankfully, now that my eggs have put themselves back into circulation, we have that option.
PS: I was also thinking, "Well now that I have my moon back, maybe my hormones will get back in line and I'll lose some weight." Then I said to myself, "Oh who are you kidding, that isn't baby weight.. that's LAZY weight."
See people, some of you think I'm brutally honest with you, well, I'm JUST as honest with myself. And I think I'm highly hilarious as well.