Tuesday, December 2, 2008

What's right (for me) isn't always popular

Cunksi has had a fever for almost two days... her first and it was Very stressful on me. She isn't sick, but she is teething and it made her temp skyrocket.
She is better now, but man, that was hard on me.
I've started numerous posts the last two days, and they are sitting in the "draft" pile.
I mostly want to say, stand up for your children, your babies. Childhood is so much about powerlessness.

I'm/we're not your typical parents. I'm glad of that. We don't FORCE Cunksi to do something she doesn't want to. If something needs to be done, I take the time to discuss it with her and let her come to it in her time.
We ended up taking her to the hospital about 12:30 Sunday night, because I was concerned about her fever; they wanted to do a CBC, even though they felt nothing was wrong with her more that teething. I agreed to it, but then they pinned her down and put the needle in her arm, even though she couldn't find the vein. Cunksi was growing more and more stressed out, so we let the nurse lady try once more and when she STILL couldn't find the vein, we made her pull the needle out, and let her up. I held her in my arms and nursed her so she would calm down. She did. And fell asleep. Mostly out of exhaustion from the stress. The nurses and PA, were mad at us because we wouldn't let her draw blood. We didn't care. I didn't want Cunksi stressed out any longer than needed, or let that nurse or phlebotomist, poke around in her skin for unknown amounts of time. I know most adults wouldn't stand for that; why would a baby?
Many people give us shit about how we are raising our daughter, they want to know WHY I'm still nursing her, (she's only 15 mos old!)Why I'm going to homeschool her, why I let her decide things, etc. I don't care what they say, I don't care if they don't like the way we're doing things. My response to them is this... when they've pushed her out their vagina, then they can have a say in how I/we raise her, until then, they don't get a vote. That is just how it is.
In the meantime, it is my job as her mother to protect her, keep her safe and teach her to realize and embrace her own sacredness and power.

I love the fact that at six months old, cunksi was aware she was a person. (She was aware of that even earlier.) SHE knew she had a say in what would or wouldn't happen to her. She had a say in who would hold her, or be in her space. By eighty months, she could say no, and know it would be respected.
I love this, I love how she knows she had boundaries, can set them and they will be respected.
I see her grow and flourish every day, she is such a loving, kind, lively spirit.
That is all the proof I need to know, that I'm doing it right.


Megan said...

I know its hard...to get questioned so many times...it just makes me want to scream how adults want to treat children.
Big hugs

Ashley said...

We must stand up for those who don't yet have a voice that is respected. It is so important to protect the rights of children. I've said the same childbirth comment- if you did it, you could have a say in it, until then, keep your mouth closed! And, it is always so much fun when someone comments that doesn't even have children. Anyway- keep walking to that drum beat!

Hot Belly Mama - taking it all back said...

as my mother has always said, "when you and your sister were born, I realized then that babies are born with their own agendas."

You did what you felt was right. What was to be truly gained by drawing that blood? I mean really?

JenX67 said...

*Some* healthcare providers can be very pushy. I practically had to arm wrestle a nurse in labor and delivery who was insisting on giving me narctoics to "take the edge off" of pain. This crap happened with all three pregnancies. Six years ago, I had a bad horseback riding accident. The ER doctors were insistent I take morphine. I knew if they gave me that stuff I wouldn't be lucid enough to make decisions about my health/surgery. They were down right mean that I refused to take it. MORPHINE! Just ridiculous. Yippee for you that you are strong enough to stand up to these revered authority figures. It is very hard for some people to find that courage.