Monday, September 29, 2008


Little turtle and I just returned from the park and she is happily sleeping away. She was tired. Since I posted yesterday about her napping irregularities.. she seems to have recovered. She took a good nap this morning, without any fuss and went down easily for this one. I'm hoping this one will last a good two hours. I think perhaps I was just not wearing her out enough! She went to the park last night with her At'e while I did some writing, and she and I just went now. I had to go down to the city park, because all the schools have children in them, and I'm not sure how the administration feels about us using them during school hours. I don't want to distract little children from their studies!
We had fun at the city park, it's down in a a canyon with a river running through it and it has all kinds of trees, and it sun dappled. Very beautiful! I used to go there when we lived her before to go hiking on their hiking trails. Now I just use the park and when it is warm enough, play in the water with turtle. WE did a little swinging, and then got down and played in the dirt... she ate some, of course. Then we moved onto the bouncy horse, then the merry go round, and finally settled in on the concrete slab where we could play with all the fallen acorns and hulls. I showed her the wonder of charcoal and how you can draw with it, she LOVED that!
Then we went back and hung out with the bouncy horse who had a little bug friend, so she played around with that. I was watching so guys being very weird up the road.. so we took off after a while.
And thusly, i'm here typing this.
We hear from teh bank today about our bumped up loan.. that will decide which house we take. They both have advantages, and disadvantages. It will be hard to say. I LOVE the wildness of the NB house, and it's huge porch. But I love the MOVE IN ready condition of the C house. This whole time, i've held every other house up against the C house and now that we have one other one in the running, i alsmost want to let the C house go. But we want to be moved by winter, so we don't have a lot of time to fart around.
Ok, off again to get some writing done while she sleeps. I've written another Lakota children's story. Yey!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Call for input and daily update

So, update first. We went and looked at that house.
We could easily afford it, and we like it. It isn't the C house, but everything will be held up against that house hence forth. But, it is big enough, the yard rocks and the neighborhood is nice. Not to mention that the lady selling it is really sweet, loves turtle and she is only selling it because she won it in the divorce and she wants out from under it.
However. It needs work. Nothing we can't handle, but we'd offer a lower price because of that. We want to tear up the carpet, because ewww.. who wants to live with and walk on other people's icky mites and who knows what else could be in that carpet. Not to mention that fact that I wouldn't LET turtle on that carpet as it is. Let's just say the girl who is in it now, (it's a rental right now) is not GREAT on housekeeping. But when you have children, who is? Anyway.. so it has a fab basement, that isn't finished, but if we buy it, we can do it whatever way we want. It has steel siding and a steel roof, (BONUS!) a built in sandbox, trees in the fenced in backyard, a garden plot and enough room for turtle to play and have a sunka of her very own!!! Plus on the main floor, the one bedroom is right next to the masterbedroom, so when turtle moves out of our bed and into her own room, she will be RIGHT there, should an emergency come up, I won't be far from her. (yes, the distance between our room and hers has always been a worry of mine and there are many things that ahve played into it, which I will talk about later.)
Now, another imediate thing that needs to be fixed is the front windows. Right now, they are roll out windows.. the house was built in 78 BY them; which is part of it's charm. They hand built it, so it has it's own history, that is cool! Anyway.. so the window cranks are missing and mihigna pushed on them with two fingers and it popped open. NOT SAFE for a baby!!!! So, we will be tearing those out and getting a whole new set up, with a good solid air tight window.. maybe a picture window.. maybe a bay window.. depending on price.
The other expenses are, this house does't come wiht a refriderator, or a washer and dryer. So, those will be major expenses right up front. So, that tacks quite a few thousand dollars onto the price of the house.
But we are still excited about it. we are going to get some estimates and take it from there.
Now, the C house.. well, my beloved C house. How I love it so. I called them and they basically said to shoot them an offer, and we'd all talk. So, on Monday, mihigna will go back to the bank and see if we can bump up the loan a few notches while still keeping our monthly payments within the range we need them to be. If so, we will take it to them and make an offer. If not, we will go with the other house.. the one I will call the N.B house. Either way, we win.
We're so happy!!!!! I lay awake last night picturing what I would do in each house scenario, where I'd put things.. i pictured us eating in our dining room with turtle, and having parties for our friends, cookouts and such. And of course, turtle and her sunka running around!! Mihigna will be building her this really cool fort/climbing wall/ slide thing in the backyard. I"m so excited!!!

now, the call for input. Other Mommy's out there.. turtle seems to have decided she no longer needs to go to sleep. Is this normal. has anyone else gone through this? She has ALWAYS been a champion sleeper.. but now, she cries, (soo unch!) and throws a fit when i want her to take a nap. Is this because she is sooo busy learning to walk and explore and this is a really busy time for her in her life? I know I was that way.. i had waaay too much to do than sleep. But, I worry she will be overtired and be susceptible to sickness. Please give my any advice you have... stories, ect.
I'd appreciate it.
for now, I'm off to do some writing and have some me time while turtle sleeps.
take care, and I'll keep you posted on the house news. OH!!! I found out last night, that Paul Newman died. HOW SAD!!! He seemed like such a great man!! Rest in peace good man. (I love your cookies, and your other food!)

Friday, September 26, 2008

Park, house and such

Cunksi and I took off for the park today..except she started getting sleepy; so I drove around a bit and found a new place for us to hike. But when I got there she didn't want to hike, she wanted to sleep; so I came home and put her to bed. She seems to be getting back on her sleep schedule, which makes me very happy. She, like me, needs a lot of sleep in order to function well. But she, like me, would rather be an active participant in every moment of life, rather than sleep. Because, you know, sleep is B O R I N G. Oy, it's all coming back to bite me in the ass. I now KNOW what my mother was talking about all those times. Geez, and I just thought she was trying to bring me down.. sleep who needs sleep. But it's all so clear, now that the bleary eyes are looking AT me, rather than looking out into the world. Yep, it's true what they say.... you get what you give, and holy crap if I'm not in for it. I will try to handle things better than my mother did though.
The last two days have been a bit off for Turtle. Her At'e has been home, because he got horrifically sick while we were on the trip... he has not been that sick in 10 years. So, he has been staying home from work and looking VERY puny.. like he's the color of ASH puny. Poor guy. And turtle seemed to have a sore throat while we were in omaha.. poor thing. She's such a joy, even though her throat hurt, she was still the happy jovial child she always is. I could tell she wasn't feelign well though, and she wasn't eating alot. She nursed fine, but she wasn't such a big fan of food. I'm so grateful she is still nursing.. or I'd be worried over dehydration factors.
She is growing so big too. Starting to look more andmore like a little girl. *Sniff* and yey! Life is so exciting right now.. well it has always been with her.. but I love how she is getting around on her own, and just so ready and excited to live life. She loves the park.. and swings. I can hardly wait to get our own place so we can get her a swing set. I like taking her to the park, but it will be fun for her to be able to have the fun stuff in her own yard too.

Speaking of... we still have two possibilities of houses. We will be checking the one out this weekend.. and we are still waiting to hear from those wonderful people who desperately want us to buy thier home. But mihigna has let them know what our budget is, so we are waiting to see if they will come down to our price. I need to call them, because mighina has lost his phone. The first house I was talking about is practically the same thing...older BUT it has steel siding and a steel roof, but it has the same number of rooms and a big fenced in yard. Not to mention the fact that it is WELL within our price range. So, bonus!!!
When we know more, I will let you all know.
Ok, I should go.. I want to get some writing in while turtle is asleep.
For now..

Thursday, September 25, 2008

conference and big news

Ok, so catch up.
The conference was AMAZING, and I have a lot to say about it, deeper stuff, but I will have to do that later because of time.. the breezy parts are as follows.
On Thursday, my sister, my favorite one, the professional boxer, came to my house!!! I was so happy!!! We are the most alike, and we are pretty tight, I love her so!!! So, that was fun. She was on her way up north for my other sister's memorial. Yes, I couldn't go because of my previous engagement, and it was supposed to be last weekend, but boxer was the one with the unchangeable schedule, so we made it for a time when she could be there. I will do my own ceremony later.

But we got to hang out, she got to play and fall in love with turtle, who returned the sentiment. Then on friday, she headed out and we...stayed home.
But we headed out sat. WE got to Verm town about 1:30. Turtle did really well in the car, she only got fussy at the end, not too bad. So, we had lunch with dear friend E. and then took the van to wally world for a oil change. I went a bit nuts because I was back in shopping civilation and so got a bunch of organic food for turtle. She LOVES baby Mum-Mums! Then we went to the hotel for a minute before heading out to dinner w/ K and G, that was great, a delish dinner at Mona Lisi's who will be closing, so i was grateful to be able to eat there one last time. Baby turtle wooed all her adoring fans. Then we went back to the room and slept.

We took off for omaha on Sun about 11, and got there at a decent time...turtle slept for most of the trip, and mihigna drove, so I could do some writing and gather my thoughts for the reading. We went to V's house, all the speakers were staying there. Man, it was fun! Robert Jensen was there, so we got to speak to him, man he is funny! V had a dinner, and so I got to see Walter and Brenda, which was great, because I haven't gotten to see them for months! The night was really fab, filled with delicious southern food and great company. We all stayed up late talking and finally went to sleep. Then turtle decided that three A.M. was a good time to get up and play! At five, mihigna went up to take a shower, in the dark, and ended up falling down the stairs!! It was funnily horrible!
And I wasn't even driving, mihigna was!

Now the conference ROCKED!!! The two speakers that stared were women who run the omaha domestice violence advocacy center.. they did a great job; then it was Robert's turn. I thought he did a fabulous job, I missed the Q$A because turtle wasn't feeling well, so I had to take her out. But I definitely am going to read his book. Then came my reading... it was good, I felt a bit rusty, but everyone really enjoyed it and said they got a lot out of it. So that was nice. About an hour later, we took off for home. It kind of sucked, because we really didn't have much time to talk about conference stuff; but Robert said he wants to bring me to Austin, (he teaches down there) and I said I'd gladly come. Only for him would I have ever considered stepping foot into Texas. The pedophile lives there, so I have a loathing for Texas.
I'm absolutely breezing right through this, but I have to get it down before turtle wakes up.. I had a lot of fun, made a lot of good contacts, new friends and hope for future work, successful trip if I do say so myself.
I could write a whole post on V alone. Man, that winyan ROCKS!! She's one powerful, incredible lady. I will write more on her later.

We left about an hour and half after my reading and I drove straight through to home. I was so ready to be home, and the perk was, my sister was here again.. on her way back home. The bad part is: poor mihigna got sick and is really sick now. He hasn't been this sick in years. But at least we got home and could veg in our own home.

Guess what turtle did today?????
Walked. For real, all on her own. She just took off walking right across the living room. then the kitchen! She is amazing!! We are so proud of her, as she is with herself. We knew that is how it would be. She'd just do it.
Ok for now, I go abu.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


I am back in town.. after some traveling, visitors, and other such things. But I can't give u the proper update, because it is almost 12:15, and I MUST go to bed.. i'm exhusted!!!!
But I promise, I will update and i have lots to say!!
for now, me

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Monday, September 15, 2008

Dog shit among roses

I put turtle to bed, and got up after she fell asleep. I read some blogs that I regularly read, and the posts were heavy. One woman is dealing with the suicide of her 17 year old nephew. She wrote about how she can't even imagine how his mother must feel. My mind went there as well when I read the words. What a horrific devastation. Here, in Indian country, suicides have become the norm.. sadly. My friend just lost her stepson, and her other children are devastated. Her daughter and I are friends, we met when she and I were wacipi royalty. We see each other often on the wacipi trail.
She is so incredibly devestated.. I saw her and had to look twice. It is sad and amazing how loss can change our lives so increbibly. Physically change it. It can age us in a minute. As I was watching my friend and noticing how hard this was on her, how she seemed to exude her immense grief, my mind went to how in one instant and by one choice made by another person, so many lives are changed. It's so incredibly powerful. It also reminds me of how I always say and think: someone somewhere is affected by another's actions. whhh, it's all so heavy and sad.

In another blog I regularly read, a woman is dealing with the heavy news that she will never conceive a child on her own; she wrote about how she can speak cynically of it to people she barley knows and yet she can't speak of it to her friends and family. The heaviness of her burden and fear and yearning wafted through the computer screen. I've been there, I know of the loss and fear and yearning she has. I am so grateful for turtle. I know how hard it is to yearn for something almost obsessively, how you lose sight of everything else and only those who have been there can truly understand. About two years ago, I sat at a table in a coffee shop with a friend and burst into tears when she asked about how our journey was going. This woman and I became friends because I was constantly babbling on to anyone who would listen about my desire to have a child. She spoke very openly to me about her struggles and that helped a lot. To this day, she is one of my dearest friends. To be heard, in anything, is so important. When we had turtle, she was one of the main ones right next to us, rejoicing with us. And don't get me wrong, there were MANY people who rejoiced when turtle was born. She was everyone's baby. And she was and still is SO VERY loved by so many people. My life is beautiful, and I try not to forget it for one second. I"m so very grateful for my situation and have empathy for those who are having a rough time of it right now.
A big sigh, the dichotomies of life. It's like dog shit among roses... something so beautiful mixed in with something rather gross, stinky and undesirable.

Life is hard, and I wish I could envelope both these women into healing hugs. I hope things get better for them and I wish I had a magic wand to make things all better. Sometimes, life can really suck... but when it doesn't, it is truly amazing. We don't know, where any of our journeys will take us, but if we keep going.. it will be worth it. Eventually. I jsut hope these women hold on, and surround themselves with loving, nurturing caring people who will understand, validate and support them. That is what will make this rocky time a bit easier.

Thursday, September 11, 2008


For the last week or so, it has been very cold here, not bitter, just fallish cold.
I'm a big fan of fall, because it means we get to put away the shorts and get out the jeans and warm fuzzy sweaters w/ warm fuzzy socks!!! I LOVE FALL!!
And it means...cold meals go by the wayside, and soups, stews and casseroles get made!

This year, I'm feeling particular domestic, and am ready to make a halicious load of soups and casseoles, as well as do fun fall artsy things! Perhaps the difference is because one year ago to day, almost to the hour, mihigna and I were walking through the door from the hospital with a new, small turtle in our arms! Oh the Joy!
So now, as she scampers about, talking all over and exploring and lighting up our world... I can now make some yumm-a-rific fall foods.
Nothing like a smallish turtle to make me domestic. Tonight, we had homemade chicken soup, YUM!!!

In other news.. we are looking at houses here in town again. We were going to hold out for the right acreage, but we are facing winter and this place simply will not do for long term. I'l go crazy!!!
We found a cute little house a few blocks away with a DIVINE yard and attached shop. So, we'll go see it in a few days and decide from there. I'd love to have a place of our own.. the yard on that house if FABU!! It has an already established garden, completly fenced in yard and a constant flowerbed that goes around the fence line.. plus it has a fireplace out in the yard!! I LOVE it just for the yard!
So, Ill keep you posted on that!

I have been walking every day wiht my friends, and that has been wonderful. We really do love this town, I have the perfect art scene that I want, great friends and am a hop, skip and jump away from all the wildness that I could ask for. IT ROCKS!!!
The townpeople are divine, sweet and kind and they all LOVE turtle, she is their own...they all get excited when they get to see her, so sweet!

Sigh. Life rocks!

I"m off to find yummy recipies.
for now,

Tuesday, September 9, 2008



Thursday, September 4, 2008

What did YOU do today?

Turtle and I went hiking... I LOVE where I live!!!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


I hung it at four this p.m. I can't believe it, my first photo show, and my first artist of the month gig. Yey!!!
S.H.P's thank you so much!!!!
I titled it "Ableza" which means to look or see clearly. There will be an article in the paper about it, so when it is out, I'll post it on here.
If you are in "heart city" this month, go by and see it, it's in the library. If you want to see it, but don't know what the real name of my town is, email me and I'll tell you. Ok, one thing crossed of my to do list this month.. now I need to go get that obituary written.

Monday, September 1, 2008

more update-ness

Well, the old towny type thing.. was b o r i n g.
so we just came home and bummed.
today, I cleaned out my van, whoot! And we put a new car seat in for turtle, man that was a job. Then we head to the parents house, (his, not mine) came home, he went to work, I played with turtle, and then we headed off to friends for dinner. Yumm a rific I tell you!!!
It was fab! But, then we had to scoot fairly early cuz turtle didn't take a nap at all, so she needed to go abu.
Tonight, I talked most of the night wiht my favorite cuwe, the boxer. I'm so happy to talk to her! So, that was awesome. She's the proffessional boxer, she's usually in vegas, but she found herself in some trouble, so she's trying to work it all out.
I'm happy cuz that means she's closer to me!!!
so, we're gonna get to see each other here real soon for my (other) sister's memorial. Sad occasion, but i'm thrilled I get to see her. She rocks!!!
Ok, now i really need to try and go abu, it's almost 2 am, and turtle will be up and going before i'm ready.
Oh, but the main reason I got on here, was to tell you I posted the info about the conference over on my myspace page.
So go, look, then sign up for the conference and come to my reading! LOL.
I also LOVE what they wrote in my bio, it makes me laugh everytime I read it.