Monday, April 14, 2008

Random

I've put cunksi to bed and got back up, because I was hungry. Since I'm breastfeeding, I am hungry a lot. Not that carnal gotta eat now kind of hunger that I had the first three months after she was born; but hunger still.
I was so amazed at how many calories it takes to breastfeed, and unfortunately, the first four months after giving birth to her, I lost too much weight, and was emaciated. I was also trying to listen to "them" (the so called experts) and not eat anything that might give her gas. Which ultimately was a big mistake, since they had no idea what was best for my baby.
Note for self and other new moms, ALWAYS listen to yourself first when it comes to your babies, you will always know what is right. Once I did this, it was much easier. But see, it is hard because you are soooo sleep deprived, and your hormones are soo jacked up, you can't even think straight so you can't even really figure out what is best, because everything is such a fog. But, the feeling is still there, just believe in it and go with it.
Anyway, baby girl and her Ina, are happy and healthy and doing well, seven months later. I was laying with her tonight and I still just stare at her, and could for hours. She is such an amazing being! I was playing with her before bed and she starts laughing, which makes me laugh! Her laughter is like a thousand tiny faires all flittering about. It is pure joy, joy put to sound.
And her smile... good night. It is the bomb!!! Her smile makes everything right, and reminds me that ultimatly, nothing is worth getting stressed or upset about.
Oh, then watching her with her Ate, amazing. They are so in love with each other, I love to watch them together.... he is SUCH an amazing father. I'm such a blessed Winyan.
She's crying..gotta go

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