Monday, April 28, 2008

Monday Monday

Last night, we were invited to Mihigna's (new) bosses house for dinner. So, we went. It was fun, it was interesting, they are nice, and we were out waaaay to late. Poor cunksi was over tired by the time we got home. I felt soo guilty. So, I got her to bed, and she slept pretty well, until about 6:30 when she woke up for a bit, then went back down.

So, Mihigna went to his first day of work today. :( It will suck not having him here, it's been so nice having him home all day.


I'm working on a new manuscript, which I'm really excited about, but I'm not going to say much about it right now.
Have a good day,
M

Friday, April 25, 2008

Wa hinhe

We woke up this morning.......
and there was snow on the ground!!!!

I am hoping it will melt.... and soon.

We were downtown yesterday and i looked down the road by the park, and thought it looked a little funny, but didn't put too much thought into it.

Baby girl sits on the floor as I write this, playing and looking about. Now, we just got her dressed and did her hair.
she is soooo cute!!!!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

whew

we are moved!
Day two went by beautifully, and the weather was gorgeous!
we walked down to themarket with baby girl in the stroller,she was thrilled, loved being outside. we took a stroll down the main walking path that runs through town.. it was an awesome day.
Mihigna's parents took us to lunch, it was fabu!!!
Baby girl is loving it here, so are we.
for now, M

Friday, April 18, 2008

Bittersweetness

We went to the going away party, it was really fun and bittersweet. I've had my mind on packing so much that it's really starting to hit me, the people I will miss after we move.
And my dear friends here, (in town) how I will miss them. I've been trying to see everyone, and I'll see a couple of my friends over these next two days, it will be hard. It was hard tonight...such a bittersweet time. I said good bye to one of my close friends last weekend, but it was still far enough away that it hadn't really sunk in yet... now it is. I feel weepy.
So much to look forward to, and yet, a bit to be sad to leave behind.
Cunksi and her Ate are fast asleep. I can't get my mind to quit, so i'm awake. Lots to do tomorrow. Then we'll load the truck on sat.
i should go try to sleep.
for now.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Attachment parenting...and other stuff

I'm nearing the end of my rope.
I'm tired, and sick of all this moving business.
cunksi is sick of it too. She is going through separation anxiety.....from me..... and teething.
Spending time with her Ate, simply WILL NOT do. It's INA and ONLY INA. All others will get a screaming, crying reaction.
Meanwhile, we have to pack up the rest of the stuff and clean the house. So, I have put her in the sling... THANK GOD FOR THAT THING...(did I mention ho I couldn't live without that?) and have gone about my business, fairly easily. I read someone's post about how she was sick and her son wanted her, she said.."the thing about attachment parenting is (his name) is always up my ass."
That is soo true.
But it is so worthwhile.
I know she needs me to be with her right now.. things are all out of whack with our usual schedule, and she knows something big is going on, and in addition.. her teeth hurt.
It's ok. It's going to be OK.
I'm a mom, this is what I was put here to do.

Tonight, we will be going to Mihigna's going away party, his coworkers are throwing for him. Sweet.
Bad timing, but sweet. It will be nice to see everyone and say our goodbyes, they are all very nice, very kind, very sweet people.
they will be missed.
For now, I'm off to see if I can do some more packing.. which is more resemblant at this point to.. find a box and start throwing shit into it, we'll figure it out when we get there.

I look over at cunksi and get caught, she is so amazing, does such amazing things... i would rather sit here and watch her all day.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Random

I've put cunksi to bed and got back up, because I was hungry. Since I'm breastfeeding, I am hungry a lot. Not that carnal gotta eat now kind of hunger that I had the first three months after she was born; but hunger still.
I was so amazed at how many calories it takes to breastfeed, and unfortunately, the first four months after giving birth to her, I lost too much weight, and was emaciated. I was also trying to listen to "them" (the so called experts) and not eat anything that might give her gas. Which ultimately was a big mistake, since they had no idea what was best for my baby.
Note for self and other new moms, ALWAYS listen to yourself first when it comes to your babies, you will always know what is right. Once I did this, it was much easier. But see, it is hard because you are soooo sleep deprived, and your hormones are soo jacked up, you can't even think straight so you can't even really figure out what is best, because everything is such a fog. But, the feeling is still there, just believe in it and go with it.
Anyway, baby girl and her Ina, are happy and healthy and doing well, seven months later. I was laying with her tonight and I still just stare at her, and could for hours. She is such an amazing being! I was playing with her before bed and she starts laughing, which makes me laugh! Her laughter is like a thousand tiny faires all flittering about. It is pure joy, joy put to sound.
And her smile... good night. It is the bomb!!! Her smile makes everything right, and reminds me that ultimatly, nothing is worth getting stressed or upset about.
Oh, then watching her with her Ate, amazing. They are so in love with each other, I love to watch them together.... he is SUCH an amazing father. I'm such a blessed Winyan.
She's crying..gotta go

It's just another mommy monday!

The weekend is over, Mighigna is back to work, and it is just Cunksi and I; getting back into our weekday routine. We did MUCH packing this weekend and we are just about done! I got a bit nervy though,because at one point, it seemed as if we had a lot more to do than we did, and with one of us only being able to work at a time, it was worriesome. Cunksi was a bit out of sorts, with all the packing going on, so I'm glad to be back to "normal."
Now, I gotta run, she needs asanpi.
for now, M

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Baby sling story

Ok, I'm back. Cunksi is in bed, and I have some time to write, provided she doesn't wake up. I'm on the bed, and so is the laptop, so hopefully the light and movement won't bother her, not to mention the tap tapping of my keystrokes.
The New native baby carrier story.
Ever since I had seen the advertisement, I'd felt that New native was the sling I was going to use once I had my baby. There were no annoying/dangerous rings that may break or annoy my shoulder, or my baby, and I really like the design of them, not to mention many of them came in organic cotton. So, I placed an order with them. When you order it, it comes with a DVD on all the ways to wear your baby/toddler, which made me happy because I fully planned to sling my baby around until she herself asked to be put down. In the video they show toddlers happily hoisted into the slings. Good, I would be able to use this for the long haul. Now, they are based on the size of the person using the sling. I think this is where something went wrong.
With them, you are supposed to take your t-shirt size, (pre pregnancy,) bust size, (pre-preg) and height/wt pre preg. According to all of that, I was small. I ordered it, and got it, and fell in love with it. They tell you to wash and dry it, (regular cycle) before you use it, for a "true fit." Um. OK. So I did. I got it out of the dryer, and I swear it looked a bit smaller. But I couldn't be sure. So I set it with all the other stuff to take to hospital and went about my life. All went on, as things to when one is preparing for baby. baby is born, put baby in carrier and things are ok. In fact, things are GREAT, I LOVE my sling... carry baby all over and she is in it almost all of her waking hours.
Two weeks later... this breastfed newborn is double her birth weight and literally over night, she no longer fits in her sling.
Baby too big...sling too small. There goes $44(plus tax) into the civic council donation box.
I'm panicked. I CANNOT live without my sling... it makes baby happy and content.
I call my sister... tell her of dilemma...the wonder seamstress that she is, whips one up for me that works FABU!!!! And to this day, still does... as Cunksi is now seven months old, 20 # and some oz. She made some for my friends who have had babies, and they love theirs as well.

Sad news is, she doesn't make them anymore...so I will be. After the move of course, but I will be making them. Because I absolutely believe in the power of baby wearing. I'm sure it has to do with genetics, and temperament, but she is such a calm baby. I am certain my slinging her played/plays a role in there somewhere. In fact... there is a womun who has a website that talks about this very thing. In the US, "babywearing" or slinging your baby, isn't an obvious to every mother, but in other countries, it is a given... and she talks about this. I'll dig through my bookmarks and find that site and let you all know about it. for those who believe in babywearing/attachment parenting/slinging, whatever you call it, this is all stuff you already are familiar with. But those who don't know, may find it interesting, helpful.

Anyway, where ever we go, people comment on how calm she is, and how she is content to just be. I go out to lunch with my girlfriends, and this smallish being will sit quietly for four hours at a stretch! She is the bomb! I know slinging plays a part in there somewhere.

Ok, now I gotta go to bed, or eat something first, then go. But, I've also got a manuscript to work on as well.
For now,
Rogue

Sooooo......

Went to Target today and guess what they are carrying now? Hotslings.
For those of you who don't know, hotslings are slings to carry your baby around in, for those who believe in babywearing. I was a bit excited, because I have been thinking about looking into alternative slings, as I worry mine will soon be too small for cunksi. They say they go up to 35 #. So, I tried it on.
NOT.
It is waaaay smaller than my sling and baby girl, (who is only 20#) was mucho smooshed up in there, to the point that she laughed, as if she were saying,
"yeah right Ina, like this is going to work."
I was disappointed, but thrilled that my home made baby sling still works better than anything I have found on the market yet.
See, I'd had a disapointing trial with New Native baby carriers as well, but I'll post that story another day.
So, again, and as usual, Home made is BEST.

My baby rocks!! She's the total bomb!!
Ok, I gotta scoot, Cunksi is sleeping on my lap, and I fear she will wake up, so I'm going to move her to bed.
For now,
Rogue

Friday, April 11, 2008

As we get closer to this move, i get more excited. For many reasons. Part , a large part of the reason we are moving, is to be closer to our tiwahe. Those first three months after Cunksi was born, were pretty hard, and at times very scary.

While we had both been around babies and children before, Mihigna with his niece, and I with my nephews. (who've I've practically raised since their births.) But no matter how many newborns I had cared for, it was truly different when it came to my own Cunksi. Granted, my nephews didn't have any problems with reflux, so that was our initiation by fire with Cunksi. But those late nights, when she was in so much pain, and crying and we were walking the floors, looking at each other through sleep deprived eyes, we were wishing we had tiwahe around. We just needed to know that we were doing it right, and that she and we, were going to be ok. We made many calls to his family to make sure, and I called his step mom a lot, worried that i was surly doing something wrong. She was wonderful enough to let us know that they were proud of us and that we were doing a great job. That helped.

So, after it all died down and we felt like we had a handle on things, we decided it was still time to go home. Home is HOME. There is no place like it ANYWHERE. And even though we said we wouldn't raise Cunksi on the Rez, we figured if we were going to go home, the time to do it would be now, when she was small.
So, as things happen, everything fell into place. We got the kind of situation we needed, and we were able to work things out so we can move home. We are both very, very happy. There are a lot of people back home that we need Cunksi to meet before their time on this earth is up. We won't always have our elders around and I want them to be a part of her life while they still can. Plus, it will be easier for me to raise her as a lakota first speaker from home, than I would be able to from here.
I'm grateful things have fallen into place, as they do when things are meant to be. I'm grateful that we have such a belief in Tunkasila and know that when you put it out there, if it is meant to happen, it will.
I love my life, I love mihigna na cunksi.
Wopila

diaper dilema

So, I really am not happy with using disposable diapers-non biodegradable disposable diapers... they sit in the landfill for 400-800 years!!!! Before cunksi was born, I did a lot of research, and decided to go with the "modern" version of the cloth diaper. Enter Kushies diapers.
Such a waste of money!!!!! :(
First, they were too big for her, then when they fit, they were so bulky, she was miserable! So I discovered Nature Care baby diapers, they are made of corn, and were invented by a mother in Switzerland... I LOVE THEM!!! They are made from corn and totally break down in your compost pile. I found them at Target, and have loved them since the first time I used them. I got them and used them when she was born and since then.
Except, now I am moving and I will only be able to order them online and have them delivered.... the whole concept of gas for delivery etc, is my environmental dilemma. So, I'm not sure what I'm going to do, something I need to figure out soon; as the move is looming large.
gotta nurse Cuns....be right back

OK, back. Took me awhile, because she was fighting sleep. I finally got her to go down though. She gets so tired, but she really thinks she is going to miss something if she sleeps. She is SUCH a mini me. But she is the joy of my life, let me tell you.

I spoke with a friend last evening and got some really great information about the books I've been trying to get published, it's all so exciting! I'll reveal more when I can.
I should be using this time to pack or write on some manuscripts.... but I rarely get to blog, this is what I want to do right now.
But, I've run out of interesting things to say, so I think I'll haul out a manuscript.
Later,
*Rogue

When you have a baby

You start singing everything... and this popped into my head, so it is now the name of my blog!!!
All Ina's (mommies) welcome!
I will post all kinds of interesting things here, about my cunksi and life with her.
Take care all,
M